One year ago Rosie and I took a serious fall. One that if I had not stayed on through it all, would most likely have ended with a hospital stay. That day, that exact moment in time I was asking my green, very large mare to canter for the first time under saddle. Instead of picking up the gait she went down, hard.
I have not cantered HER since then. I canter Bonnie, I cantered Karaat, I'm fairly certain I can canter any other horse. The block was Rosie, the fear of falling again.
My wonderful husband came to the barn with me today. I needed someone there, for support, and safety.
My first attempt - I'm lucky Rosie is tolerant is all I can say. I was so close, but I just wouldn't let her move into it, but she was doing the most lovely extended trot ever before I halted.
Jim asked me what I was feeling. Plain and simple...
I'm not sure I can even explain what I am so damned scared of, falling? Well yah it'll hurt, but that doesn't stop me from cantering other horses. That I won't be able to stop her if she bolted? HAHAHA - she's too darn big, and too darned lazy to bolt far. Buck? She's never offered to even try.
So after some nice free walking, breathing, and a serious inner discussion reminding myself that I CAN DO THIS !!
I asked again, this time I just cleared everything out of my head, paid no attention to my form and asked.
.... it was UGLY
... It was unbalanced
... I was protecting my back, and didn't have my butt up under me (un-intentional)
... I was leaning too far forward, toes were out, heels not down
It was a canter - one circle each direction. Jim got video of the last half circle I did.
Rosie was very tired by then and I was more interested in how she listened to the transition change.
.... remember I said it was UGLY !